Do you own a business or manage an organisation or a team?
Have you had someone in your team experience the death of a loved one?
I am interested to know how you feel your organisation was set up to help your person in their time of need.
When I lost my daughter Lauren almost three years ago the company I was then working with (as a self-employed contractor), was very kind. I received a big parcel of food, 6 sessions of counselling through EAP and took a month away to try and deal with my grief. But when I went back to work it became clear I just couldn’t do it. I dropped the ball on a deal, I forgot to do paperwork – my normally efficient self, seemed to have left the building. But worse still, I simply didn’t care. When you lose a child (or a partner, or a parent) nothing seems important anymore. Nothing compares to the size and pain of your grief – not deals, not paperwork, not emails.
You know you need to function, to carry on, to earn money but your brain and your body are still reeling from your loss. In my case the company tried but it wasn’t what I needed and I had no choice but to leave. Being self-employed meant I could leave and I chose to deal with the consequences. Most employees cannot do that.
What could have made it better? A support person? Shorter days? Less responsibility? A programme of how the return would be managed?
Many employees dealing with loss are great employees. Ones that a company should want to keep. But when they are grieving, they need more support than a few EAP sessions – in fact, counselling in the early days is often useless as we are not ready to do talk therapy. We just need to grieve.
Helping your staff, talking to them about their journey, supporting them with real, tangible strategies that do not make them feel under pressure to perform, could ensure they stay rather than resign.
Resignations cost money, retention is more effective and efficient. Staff who know that their employer truly cares and values them, is priceless.
Have you had to manage your own grief in the workplace? How did you do it? Did your employer support you, or not? Did your employer go above and beyond?
If you are employer – is retention important to you? How would you feel if a valued employee left just so they could grieve? Is there a way to help them with their grief in the workplace and manage your responsibilities as a business?
I’m genuinely interested to know…
